what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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