I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Randomize
