it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
