I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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