i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
