Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
My breasts were aching with rage.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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