So drunk its hurt
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
