Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
