I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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