so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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