I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
