please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
