just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
