idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
