when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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