Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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