my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
