Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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