i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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