it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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