Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize
