I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
