i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
