Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
