She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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