Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
