Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
