So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
My life is pants optional.
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