Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
