But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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