I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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