Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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