The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
