I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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