do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
