SEEEEXXX PLEASE
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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