Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
