we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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