I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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