My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
