i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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