We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
