Someone shit on the floor
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
