Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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