You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
