is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
