I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
