No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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