just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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