He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
