i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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