i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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