maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
