Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
