Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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