He disabled his match.com account in front of me
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Blood and glitter go together right?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
