I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
