So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
