Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize