Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
