Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
