This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
