But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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