smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
She just used a chaser for red wine.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
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I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
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Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
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