I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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